Martin H. van den Bergh

The law of the captive woman is intriguing. Israel’s enemies would sometimes place beautiful women where they could entice Israelite soldiers into compromising situations. If a soldier became infatuated with such a woman, he was permitted to bring her home. Before he could marry her, however, he had to test whether his desire would endure. He shaved her head, let her nails grow, removed her beautiful clothing, and kept her at the entrance of his home for a month while she mourned her parents. If, after all this, he still desired her, he could marry her. But if his desire faded, he had to let her go and was forbidden to mistreat her, including by selling her into slavery.

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Rashi explains that the Torah gives this law as a concession to the evil inclination. If the Torah had not permitted the soldier to take the captive woman in this limited way, he would have taken her regardless. Yet Rashi adds that, in the end, she would be hated.

This teaches an important lesson. We all face temptations that appear as attractive and compelling as the captive woman. We all struggle with the urge to give in to the evil inclination, which can seem deeply appealing. But such choices carry consequences. We should therefore consider the results of our actions carefully, especially when those actions may be harmful.

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During Elul, we have an opportunity to take stock of our actions, especially those that have caused others pain. The Rambam teaches that this is a time to feel remorse and seek forgiveness from those we have wronged. God will not forgive sins committed against other people unless we have first sought genuine forgiveness from them. Above all, we should never imagine that we can escape our wrongdoing: in the end, we cannot fool God, nor can we fool ourselves.